Bismillah . .
Assalamualaikum . .
Just wanna share , what I've read today . Yes ! I'm totally agree with this confession .
Recently i came across quite a number of sad love(?) stories. Mostly about people's boyfriend or girlfriend end up getting engaged, or marrying someone else. One of the stories is now viral (no I don't know the girl), and others are just stories of people who are related to me; friends and acquaintances.
I have quite (read:very) strict parents. Especially towards me and my sister (they were quite lenient with my brother), when it comes to getting in a relationship. To be in a relationship during school is a strict no for us. Not even crush, or special friends. In fact back in the school years, if we were to have celebrity crush, like, "handsome nya brad pitt!" mom would scold us, "kecik-kecik dah gatal" she said.
I'm not sure with my sister, but as I myself entered college years, mom started to become more flexible. She started asking if i have anyone special, or if anyone has 'approached' me. Okay long story short, i came across several guys, some of which i got quite close to, (disclaimer: my parents are aware of who I befriend with, or who i am close with, especially guys) but as of now, none of them works.
Mom doesn't allow her daughters to go out on dates with a guy (let's not talk about whether or not her daughter obey the rules) but i used to question her principle. I mean, this is the 21st century. Society don't mind anymore if anak dara goes out with a guy who's not their husband and what not.
But at this point in life, at the age of 21+, i truly understand why she set up those rules.
Mainly: never go out with a guy until you're halal, hence no relationship, hence if the guy wants you then he should just go for you: meet your family, tell them he's in it for the long run, hence if you have a crush it better be for real, not an experiment, and in conclusion, never get attached to someone that you're not sure to end up with.
No matter how long the relationship is, how deeply we know our partner, if it's not meant to be, it won't be. Not trying to be secular here, but despite the islamic reasons of why coupling is haram, if we look at it psychologically and even physically, it's bad for us. We say it's experience, but it's more of a waste of time, waste of money, and waste of our precious hearts.
With all these sad endings to my fellow friends' love stories (which i am sure has hikmah from Allah SWT), I understand how short life is, how precious our heart and soul are, and how it's not meant to be used as experiments.
Which is why i would always, and always repeat this prayer, (and may it benefits you too):
"Ya Allah, do not get me and my heart attached to what's not destined to be mine" ameen ya rabb.
As for Yaya , I totally agree what this girl said . Honestly , my principle is just the same , my heart isn't for an experiment to gain experiences . Alhamdulillah , till now , I still don't have any boyfriend . I want to keep my heart only for the 'halal' one . I do hope I can keep it safely , because , I do trust that the best one always come at the best time & Malays always said , 'Yang baik selalunya datang lambat' =P Let's enjoy this single days . If you really want me , you should approach my parents at the first step , not approach me . Because , once you decide to marry a girl , you're not only marrying her , but , marrying her family as well .
Thank you for reading =)